Dippity-Do Dah…

Do you remember Dippity-Do?

It was a hair setting gel that my mother used to stockpile.
That’s largely my fault because the first thing that I used to do whenever a fresh jar would enter into our home was to instantly put my finger into it, play with it and dig bobby pins into it. Ahhh the smell of it, ooohhh the color of it…and those bubbles! Honestly, people, how could you not? It would also make that oh so satisfying sluurp sound that scratched my little ADD itch. 
I totally had forgotten about it until I saw a jar of  it in a friends bathroom. I was sooo tempted…but I resisted, and man, let me tell you it took everything that I fookin’ had. 
Gahh..Just to hear that sluurp again!
That’s what…oh never mind…
The bathroom, for me, was an indoor playground/water park. Besides the Dippity Do and the sink there was so much other stuff in there to get my ass in trouble with: 
Jean Nate Body Splash. I took that as a command and poured a nice puddle of it on the bathroom floor and did as instructed. Splish, splash, now I smell like a tramp…(sing with me) My Grandma used to pronounce it exactly how it was spelled and put it on a par with Chanel #5. On humid days you can still smell it in the bathroom.
40 years later.
White Shoulders Powder – the one with that floor waxer sized puff- again a command, make those shoulders white. Puff away with wild abandon until the whole floor is covered with powder. Here’s the best part, move your feet and see an outline of two perfect foot prints. Do this again until there are no more clean tiles on the floor. Your bathroom now smells like the early bird at Morrison’s. 
“You’re crazy, Liberace is a genius, you kids don’t know good music“, random Grandma quote.
Tampons – Tampons these days are gentle, petal soft, NASA engineered with GPS and aerodynamic… but back in the day they were nothing of the sort. Although I wasn’t a user at the time, in my snooping/ research I found that they were simple white cardboard telescopic cylinders roughly the size of a cigar tube and just as hard. It was entirely possible to get a paper cut down there, and I wouldn’t know a damn thing about that, honestly. The applicator was perfect for a pretend cigarette. And don’t waste that tampon part. Make sure you put that in the toilet and watch it grow before your very eyes. Magic! Fun!… Hells yes it would clog the toilet but Dad wasn’t going to give Mom any guff about that because it may have been that time of the month. Dad was no fool. Had the guy in the photo been around during my youth I’m sure we would be married to each other. That tampon gun is sick/cool.

Grandma’s Hot Water Bottle – Well, that’s what she called that contraption with the tubes that hung on the back of the bathroom door. “Keep away from that, child, you’re liable to get sick”, she warned me one day. Wisely, I took her advice. Rare for me.
“Who doesn’t eat rye bread? A fool, that’s who…” – Random Grandma 

Rose Petal fancy soap in a dish – That was for company. So that they would say Ohhh…little flower shaped soaps…how impressive, how classy, how utterly divine and then we’d be the talk of the town and be on everyone’s A list forever. I used to steal/take them from other people’s houses because they were meant for me anyway. Had an uncontrollable urge to bite them. Unlike my Dippity Do urge I don’t have that desire anymore.
“Rene, whaddaya doin’ on the porch? Invite your date in for a highball” – Random Grandma
Q-Tips – folks, I can’t pass up a Q-tip. 
I think my g spot somehow ended up in my ear.
Eargasm.
I’m a pack a day user, but I’m considering the patch.
Don’t make that face…and don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.
That was just way too much sharing on my part.
I know… I need counseling.
But you’ll never look at a Q-tip the same way again.

Prell – I received the ass beating of a lifetime for pouring an entire bottle down the tub drain. Wasn’t there a pearl in it? It said so in the commercial.
Ma, I was just looking for the pearl…waah..I’m gonna write about this in my blog someday.
You’ll see.
I’ll fix your wagon, good, Missy Miss”… – Random Grandma
Peace – Rene
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21 thoughts on “Dippity-Do Dah…

  1. Oh god, what the kiddies are missing out on.I have really wonderful memories of White Shoulders perfume. That’s what my mom wore when I was little and they used to go out a lot. She always looked so glamorous and smelled heavenly.

  2. I actually stole little rose soaps from a shop to give to my mum when I was little. Upon receiving her “gift” she promptly returned to the store with them and made me apologize. I was mortified. I was 5 I think. LOL I love those soaps!

  3. in the old days, you’d have a your own column by now. (TTHS!) yer amazing!fave line:”telescopic cylinders roughly the size of a cigar tube and just as hard…” (TWHS!)and, mais oui, re: the slurp.(confession – made my head tilt.)but i will forever titillate over your Q-Tip application, eyes rolling back into heads. (those things are double-ended for a reason, ya know. picture it.)finally… remember those bath beads that you drop into a tub and your world becomes a sudsy dream? now, why on earth would i put one of those in my mouth and diddle it? no one told me it would dissolve in there! Boooj-aaa!did you ever dream that people would one day love and worship thee for all the hell you got into?

  4. Dippity-Do? Never ever heard of it or half the things you write up here, except for err…tampons and hot water bottles—BUT, I simply MUST add, I use them purely for warmth and coziness. (Not sure what grannie was doing but with tubes? Errr…doesn’t sound too nice.) Hahah.

  5. Ah! I dippity-do remember all of those things (sorry – corny, I know, but I couldn’t resist it.Do I really want to know what the tubes on the hot water bottle are for? No, I don’t think I do.

  6. Thank you everyone for your comments. I hope I’ve made you smile with my walk on the wild side of memory lane.Now keep outta the Dippity-DoAnd put back those Rose soaps missyAnd those Q-tips will make you go blindAnd Chuck I totally get why. Why not?Jammmie and Joyful ( that’s so cute together) those tubes were going in and something was gonna come out… Hold it…very fast…that is all

  7. J’adore tes conseils !… je suis mort de rire chaque fois que je viens sur ton blog… mais je te dis pas les efforts que je fais pour comprendre ton anglais ! ! ! Aussi, pour la peine, je te laisse un comment in french ! Na !Ciao bella ! 8)

  8. OMG – I remember all of those things. Dippity Do – I can smell it now. What man thought of using cardboard for a tampon applicator (he should be shot!). The good soap for company. You are too funny. But that water bottle – my mom’s hung in the shower – I used have nightmares over that thing! Great post!

  9. you did all the things I only thought about doing with this shiz.Unless I count the time I broke into my grandmother’s Evening in Paris, or – until I temporarily went deaf- an obsession with q-tips.

  10. Dippity-do: I used gallons of it, with great big rollers, every night. It’s no wonder I’m virtually hairless on top of my head as I near the age of 60.Jean Nate: An aunt lived with us for a year,and she used Jean Nate instead of soap and water. And we had a water bottle just like the one you show in your post.Thanks for the time travel, back to the good old days of Prell shampoo.

  11. I loved playing in the bathroom, I’d use the little cups for swishing and spitting and mix the toothpaste and powders and anything that was interesting…I feel bad that perfume was in there sometimes, now that I know it ain’t cheap!!

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