I need handlers or an earpiece with someone on alert 24/7 just to save me from myself.
Strolling out of the grocery store I happened upon a casual acquaintance. And when I say casual acquaintance I mean someone with whom I have made eye contact with more than once and have maybe nodded and smiled at. This particular person is someone that I run into about once a month and exchange pleasantries like “hi” and “what a great day“, the conversation really doesn’t evolve past that point. I don’t think I have ever uttered her name. I’m not even sure I know her last name. Doubtful that I could pick her out of a line-up. For now, I am ever hopeful, fingers crossed, we’ll someday be sipping International Coffees in my shabby-chic sitting room, with the sun hitting us at the most attractive angles,reminiscing about our trip to Paris and that cute waiter..what was his name?.. Jean-Luc!.ahhh, but for now, we are just mostly silent extras in the movies of each other’s lives.
Lady in navy t-shirt, Gas station woman, Restaurant patrons, Woman at stoplight.
On my way to my car I spot her coming down the parking lot with a baby carrier. And because we are practically soul mates I have to run over and make a fuss and get all the details.
“Hi! You have new Baby?”
“Boy or Girl”
I don’t take the monosyllabic responses as code for scram, I see them as her being conservative with her speech so that she can hear more of my pearls of wisdom.
What a great friend :)…perfect for me!
And so I implode:
“Wow, what a year for you, And I don’t even remember you being preg“….and just right there my brain/ my handlers would like to have a word with me.
In my office, Rene…
“But I just want to say a few”…
“Do you think it is at all possible that your new best friend adopted her baby?
“Let me run a clip of your meeting last month…she’s wearing a tank top, jogging shorts and appears to competing in a road race…does she look at all pregnant to you?”
“I’ll make the necessary corrections up here but I can’t control your foot going into your mouth while I’m busy…Shall I call for help or shut down voicebox?”
“No ( but I say it in a very tweeny way) Noooowah….”
“Please be careful”
All I could come up with next was “God Bless” said several times in the rather sing songy way of the dodo.
God Bless, God Bless, Well…God Bless, like an emcee at Achoo-a-palooza.
All she could do was just smile and nod at “Confused Woman” and wonder how she could edit my scenes out of her movie.
Hey, at least I got lines this time! 🙂
Reneland, nice place to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there…
stuff like this happens…
Peace – Rene