I had this character study sitting in my archives, and I thought it would be fun to add a little more to it
She was getting a little tired of sitting there on the barstool, all by herself, smoking…so I thought I’d give her a little company. I’ll probably add a little more to it, here and there, as the mood strikes…Enjoy!

She sat high and mighty
her long legs wrapped
around the bar stool
like cinnamon taffy.
She took a slow
drag off of her cigarette
leaning into it
withholding the exhale
for an agonizingly long
male moment of time
letting it dance around her tongue
and then…
and then…
she released the plumes of her desire
her eyes flickering through the smoke
These were not the eyes of the girl next door
but rather the girl who lived in the basement
of the girl next door.
And these were not the smoke signals
of a needy girl
but rather
a wantin’ woman…

“Those’ll kill ya”
He informed her from across the bar
Not so much concerned with her health
And well being
As he was with breaking the ice
“Who says?” she purred in reply
“They all do” he countered smiling
She leaned forward, looked him square in the eye, raised her left eyebrow
 and deliciously whispered,
“All of them, huh?”
Bringing the cigarette to her mouth
barely licking it
She took an extra long drag
and exhaled a bubble of smoke
Inhaling through her nose
From a scarlet bottom lip

“And just who are they, anyway?” she mock protested, haughtily
Tilting her head back, just a bit, for dramatic effect
He sat for a moment, in wonder and studied this curious Tennessee Williams
character come to life.
She was clearly not of this earth, yet at the same time, she was most definitely in her element.
He reached over into her territory and
 picked up her pack of cigarettes.
He held them up to the light
In an archaeological fashion
And examined the artifact
He placed a careful finger under the bold lettering
On the side of the pack
For dramatic effect
 “They would be the Surgeon General”
She stared at him in playful thought, taking her own field notes
And with great arrogance, she confessed triumphantly
 “I never did have much respect for authority.”

He smiled a wolves smile
And whistled a wolves whistle
“A heartbreaker and a rule breaker”
“Now what would you know about that?” She asked, teasingly putting her hand on her upper thigh
“I know you. You are in every bar from the dumpiest of dives to the most elegant of supper clubs”.
She shot him a curious smile
“Ohh, I see.. you must be an educated traveling man 
and that makes you some sort of an expert
on the likes of me, hmm?
Her eyes widened in sarcasm when she said, educated traveling man. 
“I’ve been around enough to know your tribe.”
She took another long drag off of her cigarette and laughed a low throaty laugh.
“And by just looking at my cigarette pack you know my whole story, huh?”
And she shot him a flinty look
“Darling, he said leaning in, dangerously close.. I knew your whole story before I even walked into this bar.”
She blew a smoke ring and remained silent until it touched the tip of his nose and disintegrated.
“Now that’ll kill you

“Touche” he whispered
She turned her head and pretended not to hear him.
Who was this fool?
And who asked for his opinion?
She was sick of being painted as a jezebel for being very good at playing the game.
A game that came naturally, easy for her, a game that involved plenty of strategy but always ended with no clear winner or loser.
Only the deep desire to play again.

Peace – Rene 2009

21 thoughts on “Smolder

  1. This is GREAT! I want to read more about her.We're going to do character studies in September for Fiction Friday over at the Chronicles. Perhaps you'll join us?

  2. Thanks for sitting at the bar…I haven't named the sultry smoker yet..when I wrote the first part I had Susan Sarandon in mind, but the second part is inspired by Jessica Lange.She is unfortunately a smoker,IG, though I am not, I did smoke maybe the equivalent of 2 cigarettes during my teen years. She may have gum, Cyg, probably Big Red on account of her cinnamon taffy legs, which are the best thing on "the internets" ( sic) according to Chuck.IB I did somehow picture you with a Jessica Lange type.Thank you,powdergirl,Ann,Jeanne,Ginny, Gran and vodkamom for all of your wonderful comments and love You all rock. Would love to have a Ladies Night out with the whole mess of ya. Could you imagine?Smokin'…and Jeff…we do, don't we?Peace – Rene

  3. I LOVE it! I'm picturing a classic actress, from the 50s, with one of those kick-ass attitudes, saying to heck with what people say about smoking now. (Of course, back then, nobody said as much about it.) Maybe a Bette Davis type.

  4. Brilliant. Of course the passive fumes of the alcohol will kill him too. As will the carcinogenic substances in the bagged salad he uses to make his lunch. The TV he watches will subdue his brain, bringing on Alzeimers. At this rate, he doesn't stand a chance. Says the Surgeon General.

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