Sssshhh! And no Fox News on blast either!
I stand every morning at the same place, at roughly the same time, my eyes focused to the east. I do this not out of routine, habit or religious observance or practice. It’s just that for this, I always happen to show up on time.
I am an early riser, always have been. That does not mean that I am a chipper, perky, sing-songy,*”After I do a load of laundry I’m making pancakes for everyone as soon as I get back from my 3K !”* kinda gal at the crack of dawn, I’m actually quite the opposite. I want to be alone! And at this time of the day I relish being unapologetically selfish.
*No offense to anyone who actually does all of those things in the morning, that’s wonderful! And if we were on Survivor I would sooo form an alliance with you! But if we’re together during my morning time, I’d rather you get off the hamster wheel and dial it down to indoor monastery voices level.*
Ahh, this hour of the morn! I do love the freedom of being able to do my kinda things on my own time. I love the black and white of night streaming across the kitchen. I love the silence of being the only one up in the house, the only sound being house noises and early birds yapping it up outside.
I put the percolator on on and listen to it chuff away as it brews my delicious dark addiction. Ahhh that smell…and the colder it is outside the more intense it is. I pour it into my favorite mug and hug the mug up in my hands, warming them…I take a sip and it colors me from the inside out. And then I park myself, right there at the kitchen sink, elbows resting on the stainless steel edge, eyes looking out of the window. I don’t notice any dishes in the sink, I don’t notice that someone forgot to put the apple juice back in the fridge. I really don’t notice
that the kitchen trash needs to be taken out.
I just stand there and wait…and I don’t mind this kind of waiting. I don’t plan my day or forecast goals. I don’t worry if my daughter has the foggiest notion that her book report is due in 3 days and she has yet to crack the spine on her book. I try not to think of anything…the only exception being if someone is in need of comfort or strength, which lately has kept me busy, usually… I am still, eyes focused to the east, waiting for the sun. I take my mug of coffee and place it on my cheek, I close my eyes and let the heat soak in. I could stand just like this for an indulgent eternity.
Sun lets her night robe cascade down and she reveals herself to me. Sometimes she is bright, beautiful, round, radiant and glorious! Her effect causing all she touches to cry out in color. Sometimes she is rather sullen and inhibited, eyes downcast and unsure.
Still she comes and I am there to greet her, as if she expects it of me.
Isn’t she doing this for me anyway?
The morning breaks, the house comes alive. Color, a daughter needing socks, and the regularly scheduled morning activities shout out for my attention. Sometimes I feel I can take on the world with a smile, a swiffer and a parade wave… and sometimes I feel I can barely manage my own little corner of it with a dustbuster.
But day happens, every damn day…and I’ve got to be there 🙂
I find my inspiration in the steadfast rising sun and the words of Maya Angelou:
“Just like moons and like suns,
Peace ~ Rene
“God gives us humans everything we need to flourish, but he’s not the one who’s supposed to divvy up the loot. That charge was laid upon us.” ~ Dr. Paul Farmer