Pineapple Upside-Down Crown Victoria

Spring is here!  And since there has been a ton of stuff taking up way too much space in my brain a little spring cleaning is in order.

Consider this post  that-bunch-of-random-junk-that-defies-categorization-and-ends-up-getting-shuffled-from-room-to-room-around-the-house-as-if-it-is-on-tour…

“Hello,Guest Room! I am ceramic baby panda planter..I’m way too cute to get rid of!”

Can you relate?
Usually I am pro-purge, but this thing is my kryptonite.

I was recently a passenger in a car that had a pineapple scented air freshener.
It was very strong and kind of annoying to me but, since I was bumming a ride I had to put up with it.
Worse than the odor was the saying written on it: “Live each day as if it were your last.”
While that is a lovely sentiment, worthy of being embroidered on a pillow and propped on a sofa; dangling from a rearview mirror it’s not a very comforting thing to read. I don’t recall any airline or mode of mass transportation adopting that as their slogan.
And, truthfully I would prefer my last day to not be so overwhelmingly pineapple scented.
Sitting in the cafe at a large national bookstore, I couldn’t help but overhear what seemed to be a performance review in progress. It wasn’t a good one either. I don’t know why anyone would agree to be given their review in such a public place but it didn’t seem to bother either party. It got heated at times and there were tears. I was a little uncomfortable sitting about 10 feet away…but if I got up I would lose the coveted cozy leather chair.
So I pretended to read as I listened and cringed at a bit of oversharing:
“I really see myself working for this company for a long time. I hope I do. Every morning, in the shower, I tell myself I’m going to rock sales…by the time I get to work I just want to get home to my cats.”
Dude? Wh-uck? Are you five?
I was praying for a fire alarm or some distraction to redirect this poor guy.
I was half tempted to spill my coffee over their table.
Then I came to the realization that maybe this wasn’t a good fit for either party and that things should just unfold and fan out naturally.
Like one of those slow, multi-vehicle, spectacular crash and burns involving Crown Victorias on CHiPS.

Unfortunately I had to leave early and you just can’t TiVo real life.

Not yet anyway.

See you next week~
Miss you all

Peace ~ Rene

6 thoughts on “Pineapple Upside-Down Crown Victoria

  1. I think I would want my last day to be 'fresh baked bread' scented. A nice send off, yes?And if one has to use a phrase like 'rock sales' in a performance review…one has already lost…(cringe)

  2. That living every day as your last has always worried me….SO, if today were my last day… I'd get up really early and rob a bank…Would my last day smell like island sunshine? or more like prison?….And worse… you wake up in prison and it turns out you were just being punked and it wasn't your last day after all…. this is your last day and now you are in prison for robbing a bank….oh woe is me.

  3. Rene, you are so talented and witty, and I just love your sense of humor. I was laughing out loud at the "living each day as if it were your last" part. This is brilliant: "I don't recall any airline or mode of mass transportation adopting that as their slogan." The whole post is delightful. And, oh, wouldn't it be nice to be able to TiVo real life! ~xo and Happy Easter!

  4. This happened to me at a coffee shop, too.A big Trader Joe's to do. In those hawaiian shirts.Couldn't get the details, but it seemed like a sexual harassment issue. DISCUSSION. IN A COFFEE SHOP.

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