before i lived in the sky

Rene ~ January 17, 2011

before i lived in the sky
all my yearnings i did cease
it shaped my wings for goodbye


needed not much to get by
i built a house in the trees
before i lived in the sky



viewed life with a seeing eye
and was humbled to my knees

it shaped my wings for goodbye


changed a breath into a sigh
threw my haltings to the breeze
before i lived in the sky


at dawn’s last break i did cry
tears of freedom and release
it shaped my wings for goodbye


wings were meant for us to fly
and with this i must make peace
before i lived in the sky
it shaped my wings for goodbye


Rene ~ January 2011


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18 thoughts on “before i lived in the sky

  1. You had me hooked with that first stanza, and then you rolled the lines on through the poem, flying right along. A beautiful(seriously) villanelle, natural and wild despite the restrictive form.

  2. This made me smile! The subject matter – a fledgling on the verge of leaving the nest – is so well served by the naivete, short line lengths, and rhythmic musicality. Well done.

  3. Thanks everyone! You are all very kind.This form of poetry is called a villanelle, my first ever 🙂 click on the One Stop Poetry link to learn more.Marian, you should submit to One Stop and Magpie 🙂 you'll find them right there on my sidebar under "Scratch That Writing Itch"Powdergirl! it's been ages! Welcome back and I'm very afraid…but I like that :)Thanks again everyone for coming back and reading. You always surprise me when you do that.I really appreciate it.

  4. great job on the villanelle rene. the only small thing i see is that you have exchanged A1 and A2 in the last stanza – it would be"before i lived in the sky/that shaped my wings for goodbye" – and you've probably done this on purpose because it makes more sense. all the other things are greatly done – good rhymes – good rhythm. well done!

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